10 Instant Alternatives to Arguing With Your Partner

alternatives to arguing

Disagreements are par for the course when it comes to relationships. There’s really no avoiding them. However, while you may not be able to control the fact that you are having a disagreement or an issue, you can always control how you react and respond to it. Sometimes just taking a deep breath and counting to ten can abate a strained situation. Other times, you may need some external help. For those situations, give one of the following alternatives to arguing a try:

Go For A Walk
Often, when you are having a disagreement, it can be helpful to take a timeout. Going out for a walk, even for a few minutes, can be the prefect thing to clear your head and provide some fresh perspectives on how to deal with the issue at hand. Since exercise releases endorphins, it will also help you emotionally, as you’ll be pumped up with some feel-good hormones when you get back.

Focus On What You Can Control
When couples are in the middle of an argument, they often bring up issues from the past or focus on an element of the disagreement that no one can really do anything about. The best way to make it through a disagreement quickly and effectively is to only focus on the issues you can actually do something about. You can’t change the fact that your partner may have done something “wrong,” but you can work on where to go now that it’s happened.

Focus on the Positive
If you find that your disagreements frequently take a negative turn, make a commitment to focus on the positive instead. Don’t say things that are hurtful and instead give your partner praise in an area that you appreciate.

Hug It Out
Physical contact can help displace a lot of negative emotions. When we argue, we instinctively start emotionally detaching from our partner. Taking a few minutes to hug it out can help you stay reconnected and focused on the issues that really matter.

Laugh It Out
Injecting humor into a tense situation can lighten things up pretty quickly. The goal isn’t to belittle important issues that you may be dealing with, but rather to offer a more positive frame of mind when you are tackling them.

Is It Worth It?
Once you start spending significant time with another person, there are going to be habits that are annoying to you. You will find yourself in situations where you both disagree. Before even getting into the argument in the first place, it might be a good idea to check and see if it’s really worth it. In a few months, will this issue still bother you? If not, your best course of action may be to just let it go.

Write It Out
One method that is helpful when dealing with issues is having a couple’s conflict journal. This allows you to address issues that may be bothering you without the emotional involvement an actual discussion may create. You can leave things you are having issues with in the journal and your partner can write their response and any ideas on how to resolve the issue.

Take A Mood Check
Sometimes, an issue isn’t really an issue – it’s actually a bad mood that’s setting off your emotions. If you’re having a bad day already, let your partner know and save any problem solving for a different day. If you do have an argument, take a minute and actually make sure it’s over the issue you’re dealing with and not the fact that you’re in a bad mood.

Admit When You’re Wrong
No one likes to be wrong, but there are times when we just have to suck it up and admit to a fault. It’s pointless to keep an argument going just for the sake of pride. If you were really in the wrong, you’re going to have to admit it at some point anyway, you might as well save those debating skills for an argument you can win. And, when it comes time to apologize, be sincere. Your goal should be to resolve the conflict quickly and painlessly for both of you, not to keep the bad feelings going with an insincere apology.

Understand That You May Not Agree
A large part of any argument is one person trying to get the other person to “see” their side. Sometimes, however, a person can see the other’s viewpoint, but still not agree with it. When you are discussing an issue, pay special attention to this, as it happens more often than not. One person may still be trying to get their viewpoint across, believing that if the other person doesn’t agree, it must mean that they don’t fully understand where they are coming from. A good way to handle this issue is to be an active listener. Once your partner has communicated their side of issue, repeat what they’ve said and then tell your side of the story. At the end of the day, you’re not going to agree on everything. Sometimes it just has to be okay that you have different viewpoints.

alternatives to fighting

Jennifer Good

About Jennifer Good

Chief Romantic and founder of Romance Wire and happily married for 19 years, Jennifer has been dishing out romantic and relationship advice for nearly all of those married years. Her advice and tips have been featured in countless magazines and websites including Ladie's Home Journal, AOL Love channels, ThirdAge and much more.

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