Is This The One?

In Love Couple

Being in love doesn’t always mean you’ve found “the one.” Many relationships, including marriages, end in separation after the romance and passion start to fizzle. With such high failure rates, how can you be sure this person is actually your special someone? The first thing you need to do is ask yourself why you are in love with your partner. If it has anything to do with dependent emotions such as the fact they love you, you don’t want to be alone, you don’t want to hurt them, or you’re not sure you could find someone better, there’s a good chance this isn’t your “perfect match.”

However, if you know deep down this is something a little more than your average romance, it may be time to look at some life compatibility issues. You can love just about anyone, but can you actually spend your life together through all of the things a couple must learn to face together? Hopefully the factors below can help you determine this for yourself:

Communication is the foundation of every single relationship you have. The less open and honest communication you have, the farther apart you are going to feel with someone and visa versa. It stands to reason then, that if there are disparities between your levels of communication, you’re going to run into problems with your relationship at some point. Most frustration with communication happens as a result of differing speeds of comprehension and understanding. If you and your partner are continually misunderstanding each other, then after the beginning romantic stirrings start to fade it’s going to become a real issue. Taking time out to really evaluate each other’s communication patterns and working on ways to improve them will go a long way towards finding a happily ever after with that particular person. However, if they aren’t willing to work on or change in this area, there’s a good chance that you will have problems in the future that may lead to a separation.

Common Interests

This may seem obvious, but if you don’t have something that keeps your interest together as a couple, you may find in the later years that you’ll start to drift apart. If you don’t share at least a few broad things in common, you could be setting yourself up for failure later on. Common interests help give you things to talk about, activities you both enjoy doing together and help you both expand and grow as individuals. Think honestly, and evaluate what interests (beyond just enjoying each other’s company) do you both share?


When you become a couple, your lives kind of blend together. What one partner is reaching for, the other needs to find some favor in. For instance, if one of you wants to have a quiet country life and the other wants to live in an urban setting and go to parties all the time, you’re going to have some pretty serious disagreements in the future. The other factor to consider is how willing your partner is to support you on your climb to a new career or life choice. What if you suddenly wanted to give up everything and go back to school to learn a new trade or profession?

Ethics & Beliefs

Nothing kills a relationship faster than losing respect for your partner. When your partner commits acts that you strongly object to, over time your opinion of them will decrease. Love isn’t enough to cover large gaps of disrespect and disappointment. This is where making sure you are both on the same page morally can make a huge difference in the longevity of your relationship. You don’t have to have the same religious belief system, but you do have to be understanding and tolerant of their choices. If you know that you can’t do that, or that your partner won’t accept yours, there’s a huge chance your relationship may not have long-term potential.

Choosing a life partner is a serious choice. It shouldn’t be based entirely on the emotions you are currently feeling. You really have to look at how your personalities work together and what type of team you’ll make as a couple. Doing the hard work now avoids future issues that may creep up. This gives you the opportunity to work through some of the potential issues BEFORE they become problems so you can both confront them with less emotional attachment.


Jennifer Good

About Jennifer Good

Chief Romantic and founder of Romance Wire and happily married for 19 years, Jennifer has been dishing out romantic and relationship advice for nearly all of those married years. Her advice and tips have been featured in countless magazines and websites including Ladie's Home Journal, AOL Love channels, ThirdAge and much more.

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